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The Hidden Dangers of the Typical Local Bootycall

On paper, the whole idea of online booty calls over at  makes a lot of sense. I mean, can you imagine doing a search online and finding out that that hot, young mom that lives down the street from you has her husband’s permission to fuck local guys? This is like great news, right? And it’s not uncommon for guys to come out of the woodwork like fucking stray cats trying to get themselves some local pussy. What could possibly go wrong, right? Well, it turns out, everything.

You see, the problem with the local bootycall is the word "local." Whenever I hear that word "local," I fucking start sweating. Seriously. I start thinking of my Facebook account and having everybody fucking talking about my shit. That’s a fucked up feeling. And that’s exactly the kind of thing you’re getting into if you’re not very careful with your local bootycall adventures.

Now, don’t get me wrong. It can be a lot of fun. I mean, there’s a lot of tight women in your area. If you’re into blondes, there are lots of blonde goddesses out there. If you’re into good looking Mediterranean style brunettes, there’s tons of that as well. If you’re into Spanish speaking chicks, there’s a lot of women out there that can definitely bring the heat. But the problem is, you have to know how to play the local bootycall game correctly.

It’s like dancing to music. You have to move your body right and have the right rhythm. Otherwise, the unwritten rules will fuck you up. And unfortunately, too many guys who play the local bootycall game focus solely on the step ahead. They just focus on what’s right in front of them and they never think twice about what could go wrong five to ten years from now.

I know this sounds crazy, but you might be a rising politician, 5-10 years from now. You might be elected to the local school board and become a pillar of society. Now, what the fuck do you think will happen if word comes out that 5-10 years earlier, you were trawling the local bootycall online app or websites for some hot local pussy? I’ll tell you. Let me cut through the mystery. It would be a fucking public relations disaster. Seriously.

You would be a fucking joke. So that’s the hidden danger. It’s fun now. Sure, you get to bang your neighbor’s wife, probably with your neighbor’s full blessing, you know, more power to you. But think about fucking 5-10 years from now. This is why it’s a good idea to adopt a rule of thumb when it comes to getting a bootycall action in your local area.

The rule of thumb is simple. Do it on the other side of the state. What I mean by that is if you have some business in another city, then set up your bootycall in that other city. If you are a very busy business person and you are shuttling regularly between one end of the United States to the other end, then get your groove on the other side of the country.

That way, it’s much harder for local media to get a hold of your ass. Seriously. You might even be elected elder of your church, or you might be elected school board chairperson, or some other position that makes you a pillar of society. You don’t want that to piss down the toilet because people heard that you were chasing after pussy in your local area.

So the bottom line is simple. In fact, my rule of thumb can actually be simplified into one key phrase: don’t shit where you eat.